My Story ...... Your Story?
I remember sitting in a buzzing restaurant on a warm summers evening with 5 antenatal friends. After a few glasses of bubbles one of them put her hand on my bare shoulder and said "Debz, I have no idea how you do it all, you're like 'Superwoman'.
I smiled slightly embarrassed but bursting with pride too.
You see, I had two children under 3, l was running two successful businesses, teaching my fitness love of Crossfit, managing as well as renovating a house and going to every networking/social event I could get an invite to.
I was proud. I felt like I was achieving the un-achievable.
I had a point to prove, that I CAN have it all, children, marriage, career, hobbies, a social life!
I was living the dream........ or so I thought.
A couple of years later, I felt like a failure.
I was ill - AGAIN.
I couldn't exercise much, I couldn't work much, I couldn't go out socially.
I couldn't think straight or make decisions.
I was snapping at the kids all the time and my poor husband got the leftovers!
As a result of constant infections and the feeling I wanting to be in bed to get more sleep, even after a regular 8-10 hours (a luxury to most Mum's I know!!).
I saw yet another doctor and yet another specialist, had more blood tests and more cameras poked in every orifice imaginable! All tests were inconclusive.
I sat on a grey plastic chair in a small doctors room to hear:
"There's nothing medically wrong with you Mrs Waite".
I quickly walked out to the gravel carpark, climbed in my car, placed my head on the steering wheel and broke down, I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
I had nowhere to turn to now....
"Is this really 'it'?" I asked myself.
"Is this what life is going to feel like forever?"
I was scared of the answer, simply because I didn't want it to be 'yes'. It couldn't be - surely?!
I desperately didn't want to feel like I was trudging through treacle, up a mountain, EVERY SINGLE DAY!
I smiled slightly embarrassed but bursting with pride too.
You see, I had two children under 3, l was running two successful businesses, teaching my fitness love of Crossfit, managing as well as renovating a house and going to every networking/social event I could get an invite to.
I was proud. I felt like I was achieving the un-achievable.
I had a point to prove, that I CAN have it all, children, marriage, career, hobbies, a social life!
I was living the dream........ or so I thought.
A couple of years later, I felt like a failure.
I was ill - AGAIN.
I couldn't exercise much, I couldn't work much, I couldn't go out socially.
I couldn't think straight or make decisions.
I was snapping at the kids all the time and my poor husband got the leftovers!
As a result of constant infections and the feeling I wanting to be in bed to get more sleep, even after a regular 8-10 hours (a luxury to most Mum's I know!!).
I saw yet another doctor and yet another specialist, had more blood tests and more cameras poked in every orifice imaginable! All tests were inconclusive.
I sat on a grey plastic chair in a small doctors room to hear:
"There's nothing medically wrong with you Mrs Waite".
I quickly walked out to the gravel carpark, climbed in my car, placed my head on the steering wheel and broke down, I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
I had nowhere to turn to now....
"Is this really 'it'?" I asked myself.
"Is this what life is going to feel like forever?"
I was scared of the answer, simply because I didn't want it to be 'yes'. It couldn't be - surely?!
I desperately didn't want to feel like I was trudging through treacle, up a mountain, EVERY SINGLE DAY!
It's only now that I look back and realise I wasn't ill (maybe not from a so-called traditional medical perspective).
I was exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed!
I wasn't a Super hero.
I was a Mum, a business woman, a wife, daughter, sister, friend..... and a human, who simply couldn't accept that I had to make choices.
Just because I live in this century and am luckily enough to have options, doesn't mean I have to do them all - all the time!
I had to spend time reflecting and learning.
I had to decide what I wanted in life, what I really wanted.
I had to focus on what the most important things to me were, right here right now, what were the things that drive me the most and make me feel like ME.
Then prioritise them.
The rest will fall into place.
I also needed to stop busying myself to fill an empty void inside!
I was exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed!
I wasn't a Super hero.
I was a Mum, a business woman, a wife, daughter, sister, friend..... and a human, who simply couldn't accept that I had to make choices.
Just because I live in this century and am luckily enough to have options, doesn't mean I have to do them all - all the time!
I had to spend time reflecting and learning.
I had to decide what I wanted in life, what I really wanted.
I had to focus on what the most important things to me were, right here right now, what were the things that drive me the most and make me feel like ME.
Then prioritise them.
The rest will fall into place.
I also needed to stop busying myself to fill an empty void inside!
So, I cut it all back, I worked less and mothered more.
I tried being a better housekeeper, cook and cleaner.
I exercised.
I even baked cakes and painted with the kids.
I tried calming my life down and 'relaxing'.
I trying being nicer to my husband!
I tried I really did!
Until one sunny Spring day, I sat on our oak bench in my beautiful garden, watching the small green leaves of a beech tree move in the wind.
It was so peaceful.
The kids were at school, the house was tidy, the washing was up to date and dinner was already prepped for tonight.
Surely, I should finally feel happy?
BUT I couldn't shift the dull feeling of sadness, loneliness and dis-satisfaction, it was a horrible and overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I felt like my eyes did not shine any more.
I felt unloved and lonely.
The dread of having to go back in the house to do the same mundane crap I was 'supposed' to be doing, then do the school-run and then cook and clear up dinner and then bedtime .... blah blah blah.
Of course, it was all 'stuff' that needed to get done, but it certainly did not make me feel good.
To be honest I wasn't sure what did make me feel good anymore.
I felt undervalued, under-utilised, and under-appreciated.
I felt exhausted.
Who was this strange woman?
I wanted to cry.
So, I cried, it was the kind of shoulder bobbing, snot flowing sobbing I hadn't done since I was a child.
How on earth could I explain this to anyone?
I had everything yet nothing.
I would seem so ungrateful.
So, I went where I go when things need to change, I read books, listened to audios, attended conferences, watched motivational speakers, hired a coach, and spent time reflecting and planning.
Things needed to change.
The realisation was that motherhood was not enough for me. ...... There - I said it!
I craved being heard, seen and acknowledged for being the unique and incredible woman I was, not just a Mum.
Do not get me wrong, I adore my kids and love being a Mum, however that is not my identity, that is not my only purpose and that is not what drives me and makes me feel my best.
I wish someone had told me years ago that it was OK to feel like that.
There was no need for guilt.
It was healthy to have something in your life just for you (outside motherhood!).
It may even make you a better mother to be motivated and passionate about something other than the house and kids.
So, after all my soul searching, I found myself again.
I love feeling fit and strong. So I prioritised it.
I love adventures. So I organised them.
I love developing, coaching and helping people (and I'm awesome at it!). So I did it for free.
I love business. So I started my own. Doing it my own way, in my own timeframe, coaching and mentoring other women to find themselves again too. To help them feel alive again and live to their potential and beyond!
I no longer take on too much and end up feeling overwhelmed, because I'm 100% clear on who I am and what I want, which means I feel confident letting the other 'stuff' go.
I found myself and released the new me into the world (whoop whoop!)
I redefined and re-established my own identify, as a unique and incredible woman.
I received the energy I needed to live my life to the fullest .... as a mother, a woman, AND a businesswoman.
My mission is to help other Women, like you, feel the same.
To feel confident to say 'Motherhood is not enough for me - I need more', or 'I'm trying to do too much and need to stop doing the things Ive always done just becasue I set a plan 20 years ago!'
To find what motivates, drives and nourishes you to the core of your being.
To live as YOU, the incredible and Kick 4ss you, with an identity all of your own - not just a Mum.
To live, love and feel happy EVERY single day.
Now, I feel free.
I feel fantastic.
I feel more alive, more confident and more woooohoooo than I have in years.
I also believe that's the best role model my children could ever hope for. Right?
If I can do it - YOU CAN too.
I'll be with you every step of the way.
So, what are you waiting for - lets do this!
Debz
xxx
I tried being a better housekeeper, cook and cleaner.
I exercised.
I even baked cakes and painted with the kids.
I tried calming my life down and 'relaxing'.
I trying being nicer to my husband!
I tried I really did!
Until one sunny Spring day, I sat on our oak bench in my beautiful garden, watching the small green leaves of a beech tree move in the wind.
It was so peaceful.
The kids were at school, the house was tidy, the washing was up to date and dinner was already prepped for tonight.
Surely, I should finally feel happy?
BUT I couldn't shift the dull feeling of sadness, loneliness and dis-satisfaction, it was a horrible and overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I felt like my eyes did not shine any more.
I felt unloved and lonely.
The dread of having to go back in the house to do the same mundane crap I was 'supposed' to be doing, then do the school-run and then cook and clear up dinner and then bedtime .... blah blah blah.
Of course, it was all 'stuff' that needed to get done, but it certainly did not make me feel good.
To be honest I wasn't sure what did make me feel good anymore.
I felt undervalued, under-utilised, and under-appreciated.
I felt exhausted.
Who was this strange woman?
I wanted to cry.
So, I cried, it was the kind of shoulder bobbing, snot flowing sobbing I hadn't done since I was a child.
How on earth could I explain this to anyone?
I had everything yet nothing.
I would seem so ungrateful.
So, I went where I go when things need to change, I read books, listened to audios, attended conferences, watched motivational speakers, hired a coach, and spent time reflecting and planning.
Things needed to change.
The realisation was that motherhood was not enough for me. ...... There - I said it!
I craved being heard, seen and acknowledged for being the unique and incredible woman I was, not just a Mum.
Do not get me wrong, I adore my kids and love being a Mum, however that is not my identity, that is not my only purpose and that is not what drives me and makes me feel my best.
I wish someone had told me years ago that it was OK to feel like that.
There was no need for guilt.
It was healthy to have something in your life just for you (outside motherhood!).
It may even make you a better mother to be motivated and passionate about something other than the house and kids.
So, after all my soul searching, I found myself again.
I love feeling fit and strong. So I prioritised it.
I love adventures. So I organised them.
I love developing, coaching and helping people (and I'm awesome at it!). So I did it for free.
I love business. So I started my own. Doing it my own way, in my own timeframe, coaching and mentoring other women to find themselves again too. To help them feel alive again and live to their potential and beyond!
I no longer take on too much and end up feeling overwhelmed, because I'm 100% clear on who I am and what I want, which means I feel confident letting the other 'stuff' go.
I found myself and released the new me into the world (whoop whoop!)
I redefined and re-established my own identify, as a unique and incredible woman.
I received the energy I needed to live my life to the fullest .... as a mother, a woman, AND a businesswoman.
My mission is to help other Women, like you, feel the same.
To feel confident to say 'Motherhood is not enough for me - I need more', or 'I'm trying to do too much and need to stop doing the things Ive always done just becasue I set a plan 20 years ago!'
To find what motivates, drives and nourishes you to the core of your being.
To live as YOU, the incredible and Kick 4ss you, with an identity all of your own - not just a Mum.
To live, love and feel happy EVERY single day.
Now, I feel free.
I feel fantastic.
I feel more alive, more confident and more woooohoooo than I have in years.
I also believe that's the best role model my children could ever hope for. Right?
If I can do it - YOU CAN too.
I'll be with you every step of the way.
So, what are you waiting for - lets do this!
Debz
xxx
DEBBIE WAITE (aka 'Coach Debz')
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TRUTH TELLER. POSITIVITY MAKER. ENERGY GIVER.
Hi - I'm Debz I’m a transformational Kick 4ss coach, mentor and NLP Practitioner, with 20+ years’ experience of coaching. I help women gain confidence, energy and a sense of 'wooohoohoo' so they feel empowered to move forward towards a life they love! I run online transformational programmes for women who want ‘more’, know they are destined for fabulous things but arent sure what ‘more’ means yet. I also offer 1-2-1 coaching for a more private service. I'm also a Mum, wife and fitness love. I believe you have to work on being stronger on the inside and out to lead the most fullfilling and rewarding life .... the key is to consistently stimulate your mind, body, soul and key relationships. So, if you want to kick 4ss in life, work AND motherhood, if you want a happier, more positive and energised life, sign up, get involved and enjoy the ride! I'm here for you. With love and strength. Coach Debz
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